Not very funny

Jockey · Ace Joined: 27 Jan 2003 Posts: 1851

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but, here is one:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods
A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch,
"Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The birch says he cannot tell.
Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert.
Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies,
"It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch.
It is,however,the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

Now wipe that smile off your face!

dr dave soul monsta · Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 1:23 am Post subject:

Jockey i think maybe you have too much time on your hands !!
_________________
"I don't often agree with the RSPCA as i believe it is an animals duty to be on my plate at supper time"

Jockey · Ace Joined: 27 Jan 2003 Posts: 1851

Thought this thread could be "a bad joke thread" - anyone know any jokes? Mr. Green

Jockey · Ace Joined: 27 Jan 2003 Posts: 1851

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop

JW · Ace Joined: 11 Sep 2005 Posts: 1456 Location: hua hin

Jockey - that one was so bad i chuckled!

Jankou · Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 4:09 pm Post subject:

essbee · Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 4:53 pm Post subject:

Qutoe from a famous person " I'm never going to get married again, I just going to find a woman I dont like and buy her a house"

prcscct · Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:00 pm Post subject:

The best revenge against a man who steals your wife is to let him keep her! Wink

Pete

Heebio · Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:49 pm Post subject:

What did the bus driver say to the man with no arms and no legs waiting at the bus stop.

"How you getting on pal?"
_________________
Never trust a hippy....

Guess · Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 5:41 am Post subject:

Did you hear the one about the ald empty hoose

There was nothing in it.
_________________

G

Jaime · Ace Joined: 14 Jan 2004 Posts: 1899 Location: Sh*t Creek

This is bad (pretty sure it's a Tommy Cooper gag!)

Two fleas sat on a wall. One turns to the other and says,

"Hop it!"

lach

_________________
"The man who never made a mistake never did bugger all" - Old Welsh proverb

"Why limit yourself to the death of a crummy celery stalk when you can eat a giraffe?" - PWEETA

Guess · Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 11:05 am Post subject:

Two flies land on top of a box of cornflakes and one starts running up and down from one side to the other and back agains. The other one says "what the hell are you doing that for?". The reply was "it says tear down the dotted line".
_________________

G

Guess · Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 11:10 am Post subject:

Guess · Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 11:20 am Post subject:

A guy goes out with his new girlfriend for a meal. They both place their orders and after some small talk the first course is delivered to the table.

The guy suddenly puts his head down in his lap and starts muttering which then leads to what appears to an argument with himself.

He then says "Shut up talking bollocks" and lifts his head up and carries on with his starter.
_________________

G

Wanderlust · Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 11:32 am Post subject:

Two teams of flies are playing football in a saucer. One fly goes up to a team mate who isn't running around much. "What's up?" he says. The other replies, 'I just can't get motivated for this game', so the other one says, 'Don't worry - next week we're in the Cup!'