GIRLFRIEND PROBLEM

lippy45 · Amateur Joined: 09 Mar 2008 Posts: 25

Hi Everyone!

I would greatly welcome some constructive advice as I ve come to my Wits End!

I work in the UK and visit HH every 2 mths staying with my girlfriend at my house (Thai co). Every time I visit HH I always end up fighting with my GF normally after a night on the beerwith her. On the last occaission I told her to leave because she actually pulled a knife on me. I ve been with her over 2 yrs and her behaviour appears to be getting more violent.

She stated that she could nt leave the house until I gave her some money to finiish her car 300, 000 B and that she woud need a month to relocate and find work. She also threatened to burn the house down if I didnt pay her. I agreed to pay her the money but after several days of her sulking around the house I buckled and agreed to take her back once again!

I know this relationship has to end soon. My question is is this:
1. Do I pay her the 300, 000 B and hopefully this will be the end of matter which I m 90 % sure would work or is there a better way. ( Use Police or local agency). If I did kick her out with out payment Im in the UK and the house is empty for a while I feel that she would return to damge the house and I may be worse off.

Thats my problem. Just want some advice please from people that have been here before.

Thanks Lippy Cussing

Wanderlust · Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:44 am Post subject:

Lippy,
Oh dear! My best advice is that if you can afford it give her the money and make sure you change the locks or sell the house. Even then you are in a difficult situation as you are not here a lot of the time. It might be worth your while consulting either a Thai lawyer or possibly the Tourist police, as they may be able to resolve your problem for a lot less money, and ensure that you can sleep soundly in your house here. The chances are that she will settle for a lot less than her initial asking price too. Out of interest, is her name Sa? Embarassed

rosso · Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:44 am Post subject:

Sa burnt down my house ?!! Shocked

regards Rosso Sad

richard · Ace Joined: 18 Feb 2003 Posts: 1649 Location: Hua Hin

Backoff

Put the house on the market and stay away. DO NOT tell the GF

'Your money or your life'

As you said your relationship is going down the tubes

No win situ Save your money and scoot.
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lippy45 · Amateur Joined: 09 Mar 2008 Posts: 25

Hi Guys

Thanks for the replies.

Her name is not Sa. She is from BKK and does come from a good wealthy background well educated and as far as Im aware not worked the bar scene. My gut feeling is that if I pay her off show will leave and there will be no trouble! Its just the principle of paying her off I dont like!

I really dont want to sell the house. Its beautifull. Ive invested alot of time and money in the house. I feel very settled there and have many friends on the estate and local community. So I would nt really want to re locate. I just want BEST option so I can stay safe in HH.

Cheers Lippy Shoot em up

richard · Ace Joined: 18 Feb 2003 Posts: 1649 Location: Hua Hin

johnnyk · Guru Joined: 02 Sep 2005 Posts: 998

If she's from a wealthy family in BKK then she might well be 10X nastier than a bar girl from upcountry.

DawnHRD · Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 6:42 am Post subject:

No flack from me, Richard. You make valid points.

Just my two penn'orth, but life is cheap in Thailand, OP. You may like your house & the area, but is it worth losing your life over? Maybe that's overdramatic, but I would say pulling a knife & threatening to burn a house down is rather dramatic. Hitmen can be hired very cheaply or family members persuaded. Walk away would be my advice.
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VincentD · Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 7:16 am Post subject:

I echo what Dawn has said. Life is cheap here. Sometimes too cheap. Your 'girlfriend' has you where she wants you, and she's not going to stop at 300K if you give it. In fact, it's pretty decent dowry money...

Sure you may like the place, but it is not the best of situations right now. Quietly put the house n the market; since you're away for long periods of time she won't know once it's sold. Take the money and relocate temporarily. It's not an 'I-don't-want-to' situation either. Sorry.

There are lots of nice girls out there who do not resort to pulling knives. The sex is just as good.
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anothermug? · Rookie Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 23

Lippy

My heart goes out to you; I know what you are going through.

I have/had a beautiful house in Hua Hin which was everything I dreamed of and was really looking forward to spending my retirement there with my wife who I loved and thought who loved me. How things went sour so quickly is well documented on this site, so I will not bore people with it all again.

My wife became violent, though she hadn't pulled a knife on me, and coupled with the family she had in the area I feared for my safety and moved out, I am now living in Bangkok. I simply do not trust her, and life is too short.

Unfortunately, unlike you, I stupidly did not protect my property, so whilst I am trying to regain what she has taken from me, my life is far more important to me. If I do regain my property, and it's a big if, I am not sure that I will return to Hua Hin and the many great people there as I simply do not trust her, this does upset me but I need to be safe.

My advice is to get a good lawyer quickly, and look to selling your house, trust me she will not leave you alone.

margaretcarnes · Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 8:43 am Post subject: Girlfriend Problem

I fully agree with the last few posts Lippy, in particular Richards comments on Bangkok Thais. If she is from a wealthy family she wouldn't lower herself to such behaviour.
Put the house with a good agent and pray to Buddha it will sell without any hassle from the GF. Personally I wouldn't even go back to HH unless you have to sign papers for the sale. If you do - get in and out in a day.
These threats can be very real, and sadly expats have seen all to many threats carried out.

splitlid · Specialist Joined: 09 Jun 2006 Posts: 245

just how agents and the likes are going to sell a house without the LIVE IN gf knowing is beyond me!!! surly she would make it as dificult as possible to sell, unless you tell her something like 'you wish to upgrade'.
Sad

next time you goto HH and she goes out for something, pack all her clothes and stuff in bags and have them waiting outside the property for her return, if the community has security then leave it at the front gate and tell security to never let her in again.
be brave but if your not then she will have your Neutral

money and even worst your quality of life!!!!
Crying or Very sad

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Zidane · Member Joined: 09 Jun 2007 Posts: 86

Lippy,
Is it right that your girlfriend lives in the house whilst you are away ?
If so,you have absolutely no chance of putting it on the market without her knowing.....people viewing the property etc.
If you pay her the money then I'm sure she will be back for more.
What is the security like at your location ? Is it barrier controlled or just some guy alone waving people onto the complex.
If its the latter then you have to be very careful packing her bags as you are unlikely to get much protection from security.
Instead of coming over here every 2 months,is there any chance you could come over for a continuos period,say 4-6 months ?
That way would give you time to,hopefully,sort out the situation for good.
You could hire a good solicitor and make proviso for proper security for your property & yourself whilst you are in situ and also protect your property when you are back in the UK.
Sure it will cost but probably nowhere near as much as your girlfriend is asking and you will be rid of her.....and you will be able to continue living in the property you love.
Its a lousy situation to be in....no easy answers I'm afraid but see a solicitor first,to discuss,before you plan anything definite.

Zidane

crazy88 · Professional Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 461

A few questions before I comment too much .

I sincerely hope they are of use if you are not trolling .

Have either of you been playing the field (she WILL know) ?

You haven't put anything in her name have you ?

Is the relationship good when you are both not drinking ?

If she does have a hi-so Thai background are you taking her to places where she may feel that she is being looked at as for sale/rent ?

Why is the asking figure for the car a round number ?

Do you take the threats seriously ? If so why ?

Crazy88

DawnHRD · Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 10:10 am Post subject:

IMO, Crazy88, it doesn't really matter even if this is a troll (as long as it doesn't get too stupid). This sort of thing happens in Thailand quite a lot & if it saves one reader (not even a member, necessarily) from making a costly or physically dangerous mistake, it's worth it.
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"The question is not, can they reason? Nor, can they talk? But, can they suffer?" - Jeremy Bentham, philosopher, 1748-1832

Make a dog's life better, today!