Dowry

[Pagey]

Gents (and Thai ladies, Oe ?)

My friends sister got married in Udon Thani last year and I was talking to the groom who is an Australian working on American cruise ships. He was telling me about the negotiations with his brides Thai family regarding how much dowry he should pay. I think it was in the region of 7 to 10 thousand English pounds.

Is it normal to pay a dowry ?

He was told the amount was calculated based on how much he had and her worth to the family.
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[Burger]

[Rob c]

I was asked for 500'000 baht, then 300, then 100'000 & paid nowt. We married in England though, so I asked for my father inlaw to pay for our wedding, tradition & all that. They soon stopped asking me for Sin Sot.

If it had been a problem though I would have just paid what I could afford. No point in getting married & getting even more into debt than necessary!

[Pagey]

Why be facetious Burger ?

I cannot remember the exact amount but it seemed a lot. However, they did spend a good deal on the party, hiring caterers, tables,stage,archway etc and the tables were constantly topped up with beer and whisky. the wedding ceremony started early in the morning and did not finish until late evening and all the village appeared to be there.

The groom was far from happy with the amount and because the brides father is in a wheelchair after suffering a stroke (this time not a lie to extract money for medication/surgery - I saw him with my own eyes), an Uncle did the negotiating and was so rude the groom was close to calling it off. One of the relatives even stood in the corner of the room of the house counting the money during the ceremony.

BTW, she is not a bar girl, maybe this affects the price ?
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[VincentD]

Education, background, social standing, all play a part in the negotiations. The negotiations should have been completed before the actual ceremony.
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[lomuamart]

Dowry, or sin sod, is traditional in Thailand.
As opposed to the western concept of the bride's family "paying off" the groom's family, it's the other way round here.
Ever heard the expression "mother's milk"? Well, that is how the Thais view things. "My Mum laboured for me and gave me sustenance, so I must respect and repay her".
Not a bad idea if you think about it.
Most of this country's people are relatively poor. Money does not come down from the parents to the siblings as it does in the west. Totally the opposite, in most instances.
Just look at the situation as a redistribution of wealth.
It's up to you how much you pay and what any future liabilities may be.
At the end of the day, you have to make a decision and maybe love will tear you apart.
This is just my view. I've been through it and am happy with the result. Figures/amounts of money don't matter.
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[Jaime]

[Mongo Slade]

[b][i]Question, does anyone have an idea of how much dowry to give the parents of a bride to be who has been married before and is now divorced? Should this situation have any affect on the sum of money given?
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[Pagey]

Vincent D

It was negotiated before the wedding but it was handed over during the ceremony.
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[Adrian Tan]

A friend of mine paid $7000(Singapore currency) for the whole package(Dowry, dinner & gifts) when he married a women in Udon.

I guess it is very individual, as you will see different opinions. Just give anything within your comfort zone & not let your finance go into the red zone after the wedding.

In Singapore, there's even financial institutes who offers you money for your marriage. Think that's the last thing anyone should do.

Adrian

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done much today.
<Mikhail Gorbachev>

[MartinJ]

I better start saving


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[olmate]

Me too
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[oasisdave]

one of my friends asked me when do i ever give my parents any money
answer NEVER.
so why should i give my g/fs parents money.

[Jaime]

[buksida]

There is no magic amount with this, you can't just punch it into a calculator, multiply it with the coeficiency of how fit your girlfriend is, divide that by the parsimony of her parents, add how much you're willing to lose and the size of the party and come up with your magic number.

The dowry is a tradition that goes back a long way in this country, however over the years they have adopted to newer ways of thinking. As everything in Thailand is, it is negotiable.

It all comes down to your own situation, and yes, the parents will milk it to their needs whether it be a huge party and showing off the new groom or a small affair for close family or simply blessing sent overseas.

The bride and groom in question need to decide on their personal situation and explain it to both families, they are the ones getting married, they are the ones who have to live with each other forever. If the family doesnt agree and makes demands for stupid amounts of money I'm afraid this pattern will continue for a long long time be it directly or indirectly.

Good luck.
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