Dowry

[lomuamart]

I've just re-read this whole thread and what strikes me now is the difference Trotter's post made to it.
Most, if not all, posts before were about us, as farangs, getting married to a Thai. Trotter's and others, changed the direction, in as much as it was about someone's offspring. Not the giving, but the receiving.
That puts a different complexion on it.
I honestly can't work the dowry system out, although I paid it, as I said in page one.
At the house of my wife's sister a few days ago, a very drunken Thai walked in with an "uncle"/ leung of my wife's family and professed undying love to the sister's 15 year old daughter. I was told to "shut up" - politely. It was quite amusing to sit quietly and get the feel of what was going on. The young man obviously was interested, but had got drunk to get the courage up to approach the parents and made a real mess of it all. Everyone was patient and he eventually left. That was not before the girl came out of the house, got on her bike and sped away.
Afterwards, I asked the father what the familys' thoughts were.
"Not the right way to approach the situation".
Whether they viewed him as a potential money spinner, I can't guess and it's not my business. But that was right in front of my eyes, on father's day, Dec 5th - King's birthday.
_________________
"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars - the rest I just squandered". George Best.

[caller]

[Guess]

[Guess]

I have just had a look back and I have not had a dose of Déjà Vu.

This has been said before.

The Sin Sod is an old Thai tradition that only seems to have been applied in certain kingdoms before Thailand existed. The areas were mainly those in the North of Thailand.

It is only applicable in a traditional Thai marriage between the families of a couple on the first marriage that would, in the vast majority of cases, have been the only marriage anyway. It is only paid from Thai men's parents to the parents of the Thai bride. I have read that it is considered some sort of compensation for the family to move away from other eastern cultures where females are considered useless and in extreme circumstances particularly in China and maybe even India female children have been dumped of even killed by their own families. Unfortunately what I read had been badly translated from Thai.

The fact now is that Thais have found it a useful ruse to, get money from a farang if their daughter marries one.

Whatever you decide, it is personal matter between you, your intended wife and her family if any money is to change hands. There is no rules or guidelines, only your own judgment. Every case is different so I do not think that this is a subject on which that any general advice can be given.

I would alway advise though not to give large sums of money to people who have had no experience with handling money or any financial expertise.
_________________
G

[Wanderlust]

Guess,
I am not going to question your historical facts on the sin sod, but I believe that in modern day Thailand it represents a combination of two things; firstly, a kind of compensation for the upbringing of the woman, and secondly, to show that the man is willing and able to give the woman the life the parents want for her. It also seems that it is often given straight back to the wife after the wedding (I have now got married twice in Thailand, once to a girl from Surin and now to a girl from an hour south of Hua Hin, and it has happened both times - maybe that is unusual but I can't be that lucky can I?). As far as the regions of Thailand where this is practised, from my knowledge it is everywhere except the South, but where that line between North and South is drawn I have no idea, and it is probably very blurred now because of migration - so it cannot be assumed that because a woman and/or her parents live in Hat Yai or Surat Thani that there will be no sin sod.
Anyway, as others have said, there is no point railing against the system and the tradition, you just have to accept that, in the main, if you want to marry a Thai girl you will have to pay a sin sod so hone your negotiating skills! This may not only apply to the amount, but also the conditions under which it is given, such as it being returned to your wife after the wedding for example. What should also be remembered is that another Thai wedding tradition is that the guests at the party give money in sealed envelopes (normally the ones they received their invites in) which quite often pays for the festivities, so don't get conned into paying for everything! As the party is traditionally held at the parents house the example given before about tarting up the house also seems fairly common, to avoid losing face, so also bear that in mind. I don't think that anyone can place a definitive amount on a particular marriage, but a farang, while he won't necessarily pay more than a Thai to marry a particular woman, is probably more likely to be asked for more, not because he has more, but because he is more 'unknown' and thus more security is needed I think. If you have known the family for years then I would make an educated guess that you would pay the same as a Thai, unless you were a complete axxxhole!

[sargeant]

I have married 2 thai women did not pay a pennt not even a salung gotta py for son though bummer
_________________
A Greatfull Guest of Thailand

[Trotter]

[prcscct]

[sargeant]

Trotter i am writing exceedngly pissed it is in the quality of the wench you got for for your baht and the happines you get from the wench after that who gives a shit life is all about roundabouts im pissed its me birfday i think you are a lucky bugger same same me
All mrs sarges family are here for my birfday and my goolies could not be larger if i tried life is good
_________________
A Greatfull Guest of Thailand

[Guess]

[sargeant]

My brother in law 39 has a new girlfriend i have offered her 10 ten baht for her to take him of my settee during liverpool and thailand games
have i oerpriced him????
_________________
A Greatfull Guest of Thailand

[richard]

i guess I'm a lucky man. Both parents dead and buried, rest of the family self sufficient, all got tV's mobiles, washing machines, healthy oxen, no sick relatives. Where did I go right/wrong??????

Just got the feeling something is lurking round the the corner

That's why I always sit with my back to the wall and have a man who could get me a ticket home tomorrow
_________________
Why does my head feel so bad why does my soul feel so bad - Moby (Dick)
Enjoy the silence, enjoy the silence, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy the silence (Digweed)


Khun Richard of Yorkshire (Halifax) and Hua Hin

[sargeant]

Because richard you were seen early on in your relationship as a good one woman man by her family most of the guys where the family load on are seen as butterflys and its get as much out of the SOB before he buggers of with a new woman
The falang horror stories always have the falang as pure as driven snow most times a few discreet questions or a little investigation reveals the guy asks for it, but we are not allowed to say that, the myth is now certainly bigger than the truth

Bugger the myth, i say it as i see it, and a few falangs telling their horror stories have been quite shocked at my response stunned even

back to topic i have lowered the price on brother in law to 5 baht waiting for a bite
_________________
A Greatfull Guest of Thailand

[STEVE G]

I would be eternally grateful for anybody who can keep this dowry thread full of horrors, as I've been using this as an excuse not to get married for four years now!

[richard]

Steve G

Just say you are bankrupt

A real test for a Thai girl!!!!
_________________
Why does my head feel so bad why does my soul feel so bad - Moby (Dick)
Enjoy the silence, enjoy the silence, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy the silence (Digweed)


Khun Richard of Yorkshire (Halifax) and Hua Hin