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Guess
Legend
Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 3568
Location: BangSaphan. Laurasia. Sub thumb
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 Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 1:30 pm Post subject: |
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| lomuamart wrote: |
The only thing I'd pull you up on here is that fact that you were helping in the subterfuge. I had a bar here years ago, with 13 girls. They regularly asked me to write letters. I never did. Suppose it's a personal decision. If you don't do it, someone else will. |
Yes you are right, it was my dilemma. But you must not forget that these girls were my friends and neighbours and the guys they were scounging from were quite willing to send money. As far as I am aware they were not doing anything illegal by getting someone to send them money from abroad.
I am not trying to justify any action on my part I am sure that in many cases these guys saw it as a form of charity or even a retainer.
To explain the retainer bit. You do not pay the AAA monthly hoping that your car will break down but if it does happen, then you give them a call. It is always handy of course if you have the phone mumber with you and your subscriptions are up to date.
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lomuamart
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Joined: 31 Dec 2002
Posts: 4703
Location: hua hin
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 1:39 pm Post subject: |
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Agree with TTM's original observation and the follow ups to it.
The unfaithfulness is as likely to happen the other way round, particularly when the farang is first over here.
I think there can be a general line drawn between those farangs who live here and are in stable, loving relationships and those who visit for holidays or who live here say for 6 mths of the year.
That is a generalisation and I've known farangs with a decent, faithful g/f or wife who still play away as much as they can. I don't have much more to say about that, even though some have been friends.
Then there's someone like my ex - a real lunatic who I put up with for the first five years here. She would just disappear one day for between 1-3 mths. I knew where she was, although she would never admit it - and it wasn't in Thailand. She also got extremely angry if she got wind that I'd messed about in her absence. Hell, she left me. After a few weeks of waiting, I always reckoned I was free to do as I wanted. She never saw it that way though.
She was also the one who told me when I first came over that she understood that "men had their urges" and there was nothing she could do about it. However, if I messed up in HH, she'd kill me. If I was on a visa run to Sungai Kolok for a few days, she didn't give a damn, because she'd never know. I was gobsmacked when she first said that to me.
So, I suppose the point of this rant is that once one partner has been unfaithful, it's always difficult to get the relationship back on course again. Bar girls, by the very nature of their business will mess around. They equally will expect a farang to do the same. Just don't do it in their face.
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"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars - the rest I just squandered". George Best. |
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buksida
Moderator
Joined: 31 Dec 2002
Posts: 5215
Location: south of sanity
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 3:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Burger wrote: |
It's a big game, and they are far more skilled at it than we are. All you need to do is make sure you enjoy your part of the game.
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This topic has been beaten to death on this and pretty much every forum in Thailand. The above comment pretty much sums it up for me, play the game, enjoy yourself, and take your bloody dice home at the end of it! |
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Michael
Member
Joined: 05 Jun 2005
Posts: 61
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 5:20 pm Post subject: Can a bar girl be faithfull? |
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Johnny,
BAR + GIRL = FAITHFULL ? It never fits
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rosso
Specialist
Joined: 14 Jan 2003
Posts: 172
Location: Switzerland
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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Hey
This thread is a similar to my avatar !!!!
regards
Rosso  |
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caller
Legend
Joined: 04 Jun 2005
Posts: 2381
Location: Londonistan
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:44 am Post subject: |
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Oh dear - why I am the one to portray an ever so slightly dissenting voice?
For both farangs and B/G's alike. The portraits here are very one dimensional, all black and white (for want of a better expression)....isn't the reality a bit more blurred, or grey? That there are both farangs and BG's who don't fit the stereotypical views expressed here? `Scuse lingo, it is Friday night here and its been another hard weeks graft!
Some of the BG's I have known for a while - platonically - have almost become confidants. Sure, they're looking for a way out, but aren't most of us?
Whilist I'm looking forward to seeing some of them again shortly, I really hope that a few have managed to find what they are looking for and have moved on. I'd be thrilled to learn that.
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richard
Ace
Joined: 18 Feb 2003
Posts: 1990
Location: Hua Hin
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| Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:08 am Post subject: |
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Anotherone bites the dust
Go with the flow and enjoy. They all need money for the family and as far as you are concerned you are history and may not come back
Also we all play the game. Wifes away the mice will play
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Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity
Khun Richard of Yorkshire (Halifax) and Hua Hin (at the moment) |
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prcscct
Legend
Joined: 23 Mar 2004
Posts: 3267
Location: Looking for a moonlit buffet.
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| Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 1:14 pm Post subject: |
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| caller wrote: |
Whilist I'm looking forward to seeing some of them again shortly, I really hope that a few have managed to find what they are looking for and have moved on. I'd be thrilled to learn that. |
There are some I have known here who have moved on, but mostly to Austria, Sweden, the UK and various other locations. I think I've seen about 80% return and resume working within a year, very dejected, very disenchanted and more hardened than they were before. Apparently life with the farang she loved so much here did not go well in his home town.
So many of them have a combination of lack of education, lack of common sense and a general lack or any intelligence at all.
There was a girl at a bar I frequented a few years ago who I watch bleeding profusely onto the floor. When I asked it turns out she was a victim of a botched abortion and was simply waiting for the bleeding to stop. It had been going on for a week. Off to the emergency room we went and the doctor said the infection she had was life threatening and thanked me for bringing her in. In the next breath he accused me of being the one who got her pregnant and initiating her back room abortion!!!! SOB got a tongue lashing right then and there in front of everyone in the ER. I just saw him again when I went in with the friend who fell off his motorcycle. He remembered me and couldn't even look me in the eye.
Another issue is when I talk to some of the girls I ask them if they always use a condom. I get a sly smile and they answer "most of the time but not if he's real cute and I love him...." I then ask if they get regular VDRL and HIV tests. I get a shocked look and the answer..." I scared to know....". Very sad. Pete |
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russ
Member
Joined: 19 Nov 2004
Posts: 52
Location: cha-am
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| Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:02 pm Post subject: bar girl |
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i have just been reading a book called my name lon you like me it gives a very good insight in to the mindset of a bar girl well worth a read  |
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Jockey
Legend
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Posts: 2134
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| Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:11 pm Post subject: |
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Prevention is better than cure. If you want to save a girl from a bar, go to the places where they come from and prevent it before it happens. She will be ever so grateful to you!  |
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NicFrenchy
Specialist
Joined: 05 Jun 2006
Posts: 108
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| Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 10:30 am Post subject: Re: Can a bar girl be faithfull? |
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| johnny wrote: | | After many nice phone calls she has now dissapeared without a word and none of her friends seem to know where she's gone. I can't help asking my self, "Have I let myself get too involved?" |
Well, look at it this way : Now you REALLY know the difference between getting sucked and suckered |
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