baked BEAN on toast.

[shakin' boxcar joe]

After reading the topic on english breakfasts , I just would like to bring to the attention of all those "gourmets" who patronise so called farang food restaurants a miserable eating experience I had recently in hua hin.

On one of the streets that lead down to the waterfront seafood restaurants from petchkasem there is a kaow tom shop , just a wooden house with a couple of carts outside , they serve up kaow tom and som tam , and its good too.

Next door is one of those shabby farang pub places with a tv showing bbc , some ancient news of the worlds and daily expresses , an old geezer smoking a woodbine , and a fat woman doing nothing . Some grubby union jacks hang on the wall and there are couple of miserable looking thai staff behind the counter. An air of misery pervades the place.
just like so many pubs back home , joyless dumps.

However , as my wife and I were waiting for our som tam in the thai place I walked next door to look at the menu and spotted baked beans on toast , I immediately started to salivate madly and placed an order and asked the girl to bring it next door.

10 minutes later I was brought the most pathetic offering imaginable.
Two slices of that horrible cheap thai bread , toasted for at least 5 seconds , and lying forlornly on one slice , were 12 , yes 12 , baked beans in watered down tomato sauce , i remonstrated with the waitress , but to no avail.

I ate the dish , and paid the bill , and vowed never to patronise that greasy dump again.

So many farangs , brits especially , think they can open "restaurant/bars" and get away with serving up the most awful sandwiches , coffee , english food , its no wonder that british food is considered a joke.

Good quality bread , toasted correctly , buttered generously and smothered with a tin of piping hot heinz beans , served with freshly ground black pepper is a delicious meal / snack.

How come most brit pub owners are too mean /lazy/disinterested to do it properly . likewise sandwiches and coffee.

And why are your pubs so downmarket , scruffy and un- inviting ?

I cant remember the name of the place , otherwise I would certainly have named it.

But if the owner is reading this , then shame on you and all others who run such establishments that think customers can be palmed off with crap.
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shakin' boxcar joe.

[tuktukmike]

I totally understand your comments about the general quality of food served up in hua hin.

For years we have had breakfasts served up in a greasy yellow slime we are told is cooking oil, pies that you have to use a pick axe to break into.

The thing that amazes me is that our adopted soi dog would not even eat them, maybe due to the greyish filling we are told is steak?????

But maybe all is about to change with the opening soon of the new Irish bar, this can only be a good thing as maybe others will realise they have to raise their standards to compete.

Only got back from uk thursday and miss my fish and chips already

Mike.

[shakin' boxcar joe]

[JD]

[lomuamart]

And from what culinary capital of the world do you hail from shakin'? There are plenty of places in town that do decent b/fs, as the b/f thread demonstrated. Sure, there are certain places that don't seem to give a toss, so you just give them a miss. Most owners take some pride in what they serve.
I'd had shite in BKK, Chiang Mai, Samui etc etc. There's good and bad everywhere.
As far as long faced downmarket ex pats are concerned, you're obviously hanging out in all the right places.

[tuktukmike]

I know what you mean JD.

We also made the mistake of buying these crap products from a local supplier who should know better, just goes to show bigger is not always better and quality will always come through in the end.

I was promised a really good breakfast a couple of years ago and arrived ready to enjoy only to find the owner still asleep and the staff could not even speak english, seems he had a late night on the booze.

As i said i hope we will see an improvment due to new bars making the effort to give us all really tasty food and maybe at Pattaya prices, one can hope

Still missing my fish and chips which makes me wonder why cant we get crisp and dry cooking oil in Thailand or something simular.

Ah well at least i have now found real pork pies and sausages and i also hear we may have a new Iceland in Hua Hin in the near future, let the good times roll.

Mike.

[gaijin]

There are plenty of good breakfast spots in HH, all one needs to do is get out and look! A good place for breakfast is the German deli in Sra Song Road.

[tuktukmike]

Hi Gaijin,

If its the big one i am thinking of you are right, but i prefer the salad they serve with a really good dressing.

Heard a rumour that it was up for sale, hope not as i will miss the salad and also a nice place to sit and watch the world go by.

[shakin' boxcar joe]

[Jaime]

I think one has to enjoy the food to be able to cook it properly - I would guess that most Thais who make and serve up farang food would never eat it out of choice themselves, so they don't know what it could/should taste like and, like most things farang, they are not interested in finding out how it should be done properly.

The standard of the meal being served up by the boss's wife or protege is probably a reflection of the standard of food that the boss has been used to accepting at home!
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"The man who never made a mistake never did bugger all" - Old Welsh proverb

"Why limit yourself to the death of a crummy celery stalk when you can eat a giraffe?" - PWEETA

[Guess]

Shakin,

You certainly have a lot to learn. If Heinz baked beans on English toast is you definition of a gastronomic feast that stimulates the taste buds to the state of ecstacy. I have two comments to make:

1. Why are you in Thailand?
2. Go down to the shopping Mall buy a tin of Heinz Beanz (which will cost you more than it would in the colononic orrifice of our blue/gree planet), then find yourself some sandwich bread, (I could name at least ten places), buy yourself a toaster, (ditto), buy a 250 gramme pack of butter (whichever brand takes your fancy) and make it yourself to your satisfaction.

Anybody to goes into a grotty bar with ragged Union Jacks and fat ladies in a Soi that leads down to the sea (and can't name it) without any sight of a farang landlord, deserves anything that is thrown at him. I sugest that you walk about a bit with your eyes open.

By the way beans make you fart and Thai people don't do that.
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G

[Guess]

A couple of things to add:

Ther is a new Fish & Chip (English style) near the Chines temple. I ate ther tonight and it was good. For those of you that eminate from North of Watford though the bad news is that there was no gravy of curry sauce available. You could always buy the sauce from Taj Mahal first.

I did get some mushy peas though.

As for toast in Thailand what we do if you can not afford a toaster or the one you have is broken we place the bread out on a metal tray in the sun until it dries nicely. Hasn't been much sun recently which may explain why the toast wasn't too good.

Happy eating
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G

[shakin' boxcar joe]

[chelsea]

If I was hungry and found as you stated, a place that was one of those shabby farang pub places with a tv showing bbc , some ancient news of the worlds and daily expresses , an old geezer smoking a woodbine , and a fat woman doing nothing . Some grubby union jacks hang on the wall and there are couple of miserable looking thai staff behind the counter.
I would make only one very simple decision, don't eat there.

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Always Borrow Money from a Pesimist. "They Never Expect it Back"

[shakin' boxcar joe]

Chelsea , you are absolutely right, I should have seen the signs, I should have read the warnings, I only innocently wandered over to take a look at the menu. I was suckered in by the tattered union jacks and news of the worlds ,the smell of second hand tobacco and the odour of stale urine , for a millisecond I thought I was back in good old blighty , I'm only human after all.

but a millisecond is all it took

and then I saw the magic words

BAKED BEANS ON TOAST..... 50b

Like a married man with an ugly wife who finds himself in a massage parlour, there was no turning back.

I was hooked into a vicious cycle of hunger fuelled lust, self recrimination,and toastophiliac urges, I couldnt help myself.

but it was all over in 30 seconds , a great disappointment, my lusts hardly sated.

Of course I'm full of remorse now ,I suffer acute bouts of toast rage, I wish I hadnt done it , its changed my life , every time I see a British eating house I feel uncontrolled anger, every time I spot an old geezer innocently shuffling along the street , smoking a roll up and noisily hawking out phlegm I imagine him to be the perpetrator of the baked bean seduction that turned my life inside out.

And I only make these postings to warn others , my baked bean nightmare could happen to any of you.
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shakin' boxcar joe.